It's been 7 months since I came back from new Zealand. Time flies and now I just finished my first costume job in Denmark. Coming back from NZ was hard especially because I was very naive and thought it would be easy to get a job and everything. This probably makes me sound lazy but I had to do much more than I thought to get a job in costume which made me stressed and sad especially on top of just leaving two of the best years I ever had in New Zealand. I was lucky that through the New Zealand Dance School, I got a contact in the costume department in The Danish Royal Theatre. I had a meeting with them where I told them what the school taught me and showed them the things I've made. Lucky me! They offered me a job for two months on a play. The play was called Røde Orm (translated: Red Serpent) and was a fantasy story about danish vikings. It all happened next to a museum and it was all outside, which gave the costume department lots of fun challenges with 80 extras and 15 actors with costumes that wasn't reeeaaly made for heavy rain. But the weather didn't stop anyone one the production from being happy and we all felt like a big family. It was the best first job experience and exactly what I needed after several months with either no job or a job that didn't really made me happy. Røde Orm especially taught me what I'm really bringing back from New Zealand, both skills and personality. I feel like I am even closer now to knowing who I want to be in a work environment and I reckon in life too.
I still have lots of doubt and lots of confusion.
Now that the job is over I have moved back to Copenhagen. I am starting to realise what kind of work life I am saying yes to which is a bit difficult for me to just except. I feel really bad having doubts about doing something very exiting. At the moment I am waiting for an email which will say if i got a job or not. A crazy job I didn't even imagine that I might be able to get. If I get this job I will have to move country for maybe a year and YES that is exiting and an amazing new adventure but I also have this other side of me who feels pretty good about not going anywhere for a while. It almost feels just as exiting to get a theatre job or something here, find a nice flat, live with awesome people and save money for a drivers licence or maybe even a kayak. Silly and basic things. It is very confusing having plans and dreams for years about working around the world making costumes for films and theatres and now also at the same time having a dream of just doing very normal things and to stay in one place for a while. I reckon part of it comes from that stupid fear of not having enough time to do all the things you want. And I know I do. I've got lots of time but the problem is that I want to do everything right away.
Do I have to choose between a successful career or a normal life? Am I overreacting? When is it ok to change your mind and when should I listen to my gut and when should I take the chances? Will the choices I make now affect what I'll be doing later? Of course it will but will I regret it? Are these questions completely stupid or are they just normal? Sometime we make our problems way to big and forget that usually lots of people go through the same things and we are not really that special or unique. Most would tell me to jump and take a chance but sometimes I feel like I am lost of energy to make another bold move.
In a couple of days I will know what is going to happen and if I'll be moving again. Oh the challenges of life - how I love it :D